A Tale of Two Memorial Days

This coming Monday is memorial day - a day to remember the men and women who gave their lives in the ultimate sacrifice for our country. It is also Shavuot - The Feast of Weeks, when we recall receiving the Torah at Mt. Sinai. Traditionally we recite Yizkor - a service of memory for those who have passed on in our lives. It is hard not to think of the confluence of these two days but, especially how both of them are in danger of disappearing from most American Jews consciousness, let alone practice.

At the heart of it, both Memorial Day and Shavout should be about the shared communal experience and its larger connection to our country, our people and our lives. Yet, when most people think of Memorial Day, they think about the pool, or the beach, a BBQ, and sales, sales, sales! And when asked what Shavuot is about?, either a look of confusion or "oh, yeah isn't that the holiday with cheesecake."

We forget that for some families, Memorial Day is an incredibly difficult day as they recall a life cut short, a dad not able to see his children grow up, or a brother and son no longer around the holiday table. Somehow this aspect of the holiday is relegated to those families alone, a private mourning, a private pain. Contrast this to Yom haZikaron in Israel, where a siren goes off and a whole country comes to a standstill. Where people whether they had someone close to them or not still mourn, recall and comfort those that did. Names are read, cemeteries are visited, prayers are offered - it is part of the communal psyche, part of the essence of what it means to be an Israeli, a people, and a Jew.

For Shavuot, the entire holiday is centered on the idea of community. Unlike so many other traditions, God's revelation wasn't made to an individual or a small group of special people but rather, the entire Jewish people was witness to it. Men, women and children together stood at Sinai and accepted upon themselves the covenant and received the Torah. In later times, the first fruits of the land were brought to the Temple in Jerusalem and each person recited the communal history of how our people started with Abraham, became slaves in Egypt and eventually were saved by God, brought to the Promised Land and today stand grateful for all of God's blessings and bounty. It was a connection to country, people, faith and how these were an integral part of their identity and their lives. Shavuot is about stand to hear the Ten Commandments read and saying together that we will accept the responsibility of this Torah and renew it for us and for the future. We are the Jewish people, we are in this together!

Yizkor reminds us of the debt we owe to those who came before us, raised us, loved us, guided us.  Their lives were not in vain and their values are a part of who we are, and who we strive to be. We remember those who perished in the Shoah (Holocaust), those who gave their lives over the centuries so that we could be Jews today. We recall the blessings of those who touched our lives and our communities by building synagogues, helping those in need, establishing and sustaining our communities, and passing down the tradition to us l'dor vador (from generation to generation). It is personal but it is also communal. Indeed the Mourner's Kaddish must be said in the context of at least a minyan (10 people= the smallest divisible number of community).

So this year Memorial Day and Yizkor on Shavuot coincide. It is not out of guilt or shame, but out of honor, respect, love, that I hope we recall our communal covenant with each other both as Americans and as Jews. It is why I think these days are so important to us as a community and why at their core they are essential for us as individuals. Together let us remember, and rededicate ourselves to their memories and our collective communities. Let us renew our Covenant of Community.

Moadim L'Simcha - Happy Holiday!

Will You Still Need Me... When I'm 64! Yom Ha'atzmaut 5772

Today Israel turns 64 years old and this is no small birthday. I am continually amazed at how a place so ancient on the one hand is yet so vital and modern on the other. How values we have held as Jews for centuries can be put into practice in building our homeland and improving the world. Now I know Israel isn't perfect but hey show me someone or someplace that is! As a lover of Israel and our people, I can't help beam with pride at how this small country the size of New Jersey (my home state) has in the face of adversity since it's founding built a vibrant, successful, democratic nation out of Jewish immigrants from across the world and from all walks of life. Never in the history of humanity has a people brought a language back from the brink of death, and a land from desert to fertility. Through sheer hard work, ingenuity and imagination Israelis have built a model state which is the envy of countries far beyond their years of existence. It is often said that age is a frame of mind. For our homeland which is steeped in such ancient history and filled with a spiritual presence unlike any other place in the world, Israel is young at heart and filled with life. I believe we need Israel more than ever and Israel needs us. So here's to 64 years of miracles! But don't only take my word for it. Check out Israel's many accomplishments and blessings to the world at: www.Israel21c.org. As we say when we return the Torah to ark, "Help us turn to You, Adonai, and we shall return. Renew our lives as in days of old." May God continue to bless the miracle that is the State of Israel, and may our people continue to make the old, new and the new, great! Chag Sameach!

B'chol Dor Va'Dor - In each generation

Maybe because Spring is such a hopeful time, a moment of rebirth and dream optimism. Maybe because Passover (Pesach) is my favorite holiday. Whatever the reason, I am deeply moved once again by a line in the Haggadah that says, "In each generation, every individual should feel as though he or she had actually been redeemed from Mitzrayim" (Mitzrayim means Egypt but also means a restricted, narrow or difficult place, ie. between a rock and a hard place - tzuris shares the same Hebrew root).  I believe this statement is profound on a number of levels but in particular in stressing how important it is to be able to feel a sense of ownership of our tradition and it's story. Each of us is an important part of the larger fabric of the Jewish people and our history, but also each of us as individuals can find personal meaning in the story of moving from slavery to freedom, from that hard place to a better place in our lives. Whether it is fighting and surviving cancer, grappling with what to do about elderly parents, trying to stay afloat financially, or dealing with the ups and downs of relationships -no matter the difficult situation or challenge, our faith can give us the tools and support needed to find the courage, inspiration, love and hope to overcome whatever holds us back. I find that Pesach gives me the chance to look beyond the tzuris, count the blessings God has given me, and to look forward to breaking the chains of those things which limit or diminish me. It helps me realize the potential inside myself, and recognize where I am in the journey of freedom. A freedom journey, which is about using our precious days to better our personal lives, our families, and that of our larger community. Understood in this way, b'chol dor va'dor (in each generation) we can honestly tell our children and grandchildren, this is what God, the Eternal One did for me when I went forth from Mitzrayim. May God's love and guidance strengthen all of us as we march forward to freedom. Chag Sameach!

A Leap Of Time

Observed fact: More teens look at their phones to tell time than at their watches (if they even have on a watch). Telling time and time itself has always gone through subjective changes. The Jewish day starts at sunset because it says in the story of Creation, "It was evening, it was morning day X". The secular day starts at 12:00 a.m. or midnight (which to me doesn't really make sense). How we tell time has been influenced by many things. In Britian and America in the mid to late 1800's for example, the railroad revolutionized time with "time zones" and helped to foster standardized times for the whole country. People would set their clocks and watches to match the railroad's time instead of using each town or village's time. Whether it is told with a wind-up watch, a cellphone or the atomic clock, time has always been something humans measure but are never masters of. Our Jewish poets and liturgist understood it so well, namely that God is the Master of the Infinite of time and space, and we can for a moment be part of this amazing journey called life. What we make of this precious gift is how we treat each other, partner to make this world better, and stop (Shabbat) to become more aware of just how blessed we truly are. I am grateful for the leap day today. One more day of February, one more day to say thank you for family, friends, and life. Baruch Adonai, Yom Yom!

Starting Something New: No More Excuses

Over the last year a number of people have come up to me and tried to convince me to start a blog. "It will help connect people to more Jewish learning and conversations," they would say.  "What a great opportunity for you reach out to people in our ever greater digitally connected age," they argued.   Yet, for each reason they put forward I always had a thousand excuses why starting a blog would be a bad idea. "I barely have the time as it is," I would counter, "let alone have time to write for a blog. Besides do you think people actually spend the time to read these things? Is it really worth the time and effort?!" I mean I really had a thousand excuses why creating a blog wouldn't work. So what has changed and why am I starting this new blog? I often preach on Rosh Hashanah about becoming aware of the obstacles which prevent us from really engaging in the process of teshuvah (change/return/repentance) or put another way, actualizing our potential as people to become the best we can. One of the biggest of these obstacles is the EXCUSE. Often we find it easier to make excuses about why we can't change, than confront the need to really change. Sometimes we use external factors in our excuses, like blaming others or the "situation" for why we did or didn't do something. This is the classic, "the dog ate my homework" excuse. Other times we simply diminish ourselves by saying we want to but can't, or we let our fear of failure stop us from even trying. When we make excuses we rob ourselves of the power we have to choose how we live our lives, and we duck out on taking the responsibility for our actions or inactions. Taking a new step in life is never easy. Confronting ourselves honestly and in the spirit of humility is difficult. But making excuses never allows us to really change our course, learn and grow. So as the secular year ticked over into 2012, I heard a little voice in my head say, "Are you a rabbi or what?! A teacher, preacher, servant of God and the people Israel, even cyber-Israel. Why don't you follow your own advice and stop making excuses! Give blogging a try. At the very least your mother will read it. And you know she will kvell about it to her friends. 'Have you heard about my son? He's a rabbi and he has a blog!'" So here's to my mother (and father) who I owe everything and love very much. Here's to starting something new with God's help, a blog that can be a resource for Jewish values, ideas and learning with the intent to inspire and nourish the heart, mind and soul of those who read it. Finally, a big thank you to my wonderfully creative, beautiful, and brilliant wife who set up this blog and who is my rock, best friend, and lover. There is no one I would want to share the journey of life more than with you. Here's to that journey with no more excuses.