In one of the most known and sung
Jewish prayers, Adon Olam, the author
ends the prayer, “When I sleep as when I wake, God is with me; I have no fear!”
On the one hand this line can be comforting as a profession of faith in God’s
will and protection. On the other hand, is it true that we have no fear(s)?! From
Paris to Jerusalem, to schools and movie theaters right here at home there is
much in our world today to be afraid of. Instead I would argue that indeed we
always have fear(s) but what matters is how we manage and cope with them.
Throughout the Torah, our tradition
models both positive and negative ways to manage our fears. From the beginning
of the redemption from slavery in Egypt, it is possible to see fear as an
underlying presence in the Torah. Moses’s mother fears for his life and sends
him away. The midwives stand up against the Pharaoh’s orders and the text says
they we righteous and had, “fear of God.” Moses fears the wrath of Pharaoh
after killing the Egyptian and flees to the wilderness. Then when God calls him
at the burning bush, Moses is fearful of taking on God’s prophetic mission.
Even when the Jewish people march to freedom in the book of Exodus, God is
fearful that the newly freed people will experience war, be afraid and want to
turn back. God therefore sends the people on the longer journey through the
Sinai instead of the coastal road. It is almost hard to imagine having just witnessed
God’s power of the ten plagues that our people would be standing at the sea
yelling at Moses that his plan all along was to kill them. Or immediately after
crossing through the sea and seeing Pharaoh’s army destroyed, that our people
would be fearful of dying of thirst in the wilderness. I think it is very easy
to be overly critical of our ancestors in these moments and if we are truly
honest with ourselves then we can admit that we all have fears. How would we
have reacted with Pharaoh’s chariots bearing down on us? And maybe more
importantly how do we cope with our own fears?
Whether it is fear of failure, fear
of growing old, fear of being alone, fear of losing a job, or fear of death; if
we are honest then we can recognize that we all have our own fears. If we look
more closely at the way the Jewish people and God deal with fear, two reactions
seem to emerge. The first reaction to fear is the most automatic and
instinctual – namely fight, flight or freeze. As humans our lower brains are
hardwired to respond to danger in this way. When a lion enters the cave, we can
either, run like the wind, attempt to kill it, or play dead and pray it goes
away. This reactionary response serves us very well in life/death predicaments
but when faced with more complex and enduring challenges, ends up more
detrimental than helpful to us because it does not let us process and use our
best faculties. In her work as a trauma counselor and researcher at the
University of Chicago, Dr. Mary Jo Barrett suggests that when we utilize our
mid and upper brains (emotions, logic, planning, values, etc.) we can manage
our fears more successfully and develop healthier coping schema and responses
to them.
The first step in engaging our
higher faculties is to breathe, pause, and ponder. We then truly begin to confront
our fears by first identifying them. While obvious, this initial step takes
humility and honesty to acknowledge how our deep fears seep into our lives
affecting our relationships and our health - physically, mentally and spiritually.
This process of self-awareness raises our fear response out of our lower brain
and engages our mid brain. I often find that the Amidah (the Silent Prayer) often allows me to refocus, to breathe.
Particularly the weekday Amidah sections,
which acknowledge my fragility and remind me that God seeks my growth not
perfection. Also helpful are the Psalms in which the psalmist speaks of
brokenness, longing and a desire for God’s healing presence. My favorite is
Psalm 130, said during Tachanun (A twice
daily section of supplication and reflection) which begins, “Out of the depths
I call to You…” For others it might be Psalm 23, “Yea, though I walk though the
shadow of death, You are with me. Your staff and Your rod they comfort me.” In
each of these Psalms, God is portrayed as a comforter who journeys with us
through the ups and downs of our lives.
It is only after we have identified
and named our fears that we then can use all of our resources and logic to find
ways to cope and manage our fears. In particular, Judaism reminds us that we
are in this together. In fact, our individual fears are most likely shared by
others, and that through community we can not only share them but also learn
from others how they deal with them.
Finally, when we reach a level of
understanding ourselves, we can better recognize when fear is driving our life
decisions and getting the best of us. Our tradition teaches that the
motivations of love, compassion, kindness, and faith can and do lead us to
better selves and better places. And for that reminder I am eternally grateful
to the poet of Adon Olam.
