A Tale of Two Memorial Days

This coming Monday is memorial day - a day to remember the men and women who gave their lives in the ultimate sacrifice for our country. It is also Shavuot - The Feast of Weeks, when we recall receiving the Torah at Mt. Sinai. Traditionally we recite Yizkor - a service of memory for those who have passed on in our lives. It is hard not to think of the confluence of these two days but, especially how both of them are in danger of disappearing from most American Jews consciousness, let alone practice.

At the heart of it, both Memorial Day and Shavout should be about the shared communal experience and its larger connection to our country, our people and our lives. Yet, when most people think of Memorial Day, they think about the pool, or the beach, a BBQ, and sales, sales, sales! And when asked what Shavuot is about?, either a look of confusion or "oh, yeah isn't that the holiday with cheesecake."

We forget that for some families, Memorial Day is an incredibly difficult day as they recall a life cut short, a dad not able to see his children grow up, or a brother and son no longer around the holiday table. Somehow this aspect of the holiday is relegated to those families alone, a private mourning, a private pain. Contrast this to Yom haZikaron in Israel, where a siren goes off and a whole country comes to a standstill. Where people whether they had someone close to them or not still mourn, recall and comfort those that did. Names are read, cemeteries are visited, prayers are offered - it is part of the communal psyche, part of the essence of what it means to be an Israeli, a people, and a Jew.

For Shavuot, the entire holiday is centered on the idea of community. Unlike so many other traditions, God's revelation wasn't made to an individual or a small group of special people but rather, the entire Jewish people was witness to it. Men, women and children together stood at Sinai and accepted upon themselves the covenant and received the Torah. In later times, the first fruits of the land were brought to the Temple in Jerusalem and each person recited the communal history of how our people started with Abraham, became slaves in Egypt and eventually were saved by God, brought to the Promised Land and today stand grateful for all of God's blessings and bounty. It was a connection to country, people, faith and how these were an integral part of their identity and their lives. Shavuot is about stand to hear the Ten Commandments read and saying together that we will accept the responsibility of this Torah and renew it for us and for the future. We are the Jewish people, we are in this together!

Yizkor reminds us of the debt we owe to those who came before us, raised us, loved us, guided us.  Their lives were not in vain and their values are a part of who we are, and who we strive to be. We remember those who perished in the Shoah (Holocaust), those who gave their lives over the centuries so that we could be Jews today. We recall the blessings of those who touched our lives and our communities by building synagogues, helping those in need, establishing and sustaining our communities, and passing down the tradition to us l'dor vador (from generation to generation). It is personal but it is also communal. Indeed the Mourner's Kaddish must be said in the context of at least a minyan (10 people= the smallest divisible number of community).

So this year Memorial Day and Yizkor on Shavuot coincide. It is not out of guilt or shame, but out of honor, respect, love, that I hope we recall our communal covenant with each other both as Americans and as Jews. It is why I think these days are so important to us as a community and why at their core they are essential for us as individuals. Together let us remember, and rededicate ourselves to their memories and our collective communities. Let us renew our Covenant of Community.

Moadim L'Simcha - Happy Holiday!