Of all the major Jewish holidays, Pesach is focused in our
homes, and more specifically around our tables. From the initial cleaning of
our homes, the search for hametz, and the making of the matzah balls,
the spiritual center of Pesach is sitting around the seder table and
telling the story of how God saved our people, taking us from slavery to
freedom. In telling the story of our exodus, our rabbis in the haggadah,
use the metaphor of four children, each with different levels of understanding
and each asking different questions. They wanted each of us to literally look
around the seder table and tell the story so that each person there would be
moved, challenged, and inspired by the story.
Yet, of all the four children represented in the story - the Wise, the Wicked, the Simple and the One Who Doesn’t Know How to Ask, why each year would the host of the seder invite the Wicked Child? As a reminder, the wicked child asks, “What mean you by this service?! By the word “you,” it is clear he does not include himself in the community.” Whoa! Talk about attitude! The question of the Wicked Child can be understood not only as his eyes rolling to the back of his head but also a total disconnect from the family, our people and the tradition.
It is completely
understandable that the first year when the wicked child initially asks their
question the parent responds. In that case, the seder leader’s
response seems relevant if not a necessary stern rebuke of the wicked child
even going as far as to say, “had he been there (in Egypt), he would
not have been redeemed!” But what is not obvious is why year
after year the Wicked Child is invited back! Is it just because he had to
move back in with his parents? Maybe he loves his mother’s chicken soup, or
maybe it’s just some type of masochistic fetish? After all why would
you want someone at the seder table who does not feel a part of the holiday or
even the people, and actively taunts others about it?!
Maybe the answer lies with
the very story of Pesach itself. Our people start out hungry, enslaved, and
abused. We are strangers in Egypt physically but we are also estranged from our
innate sense of dignity, self-worth and connectedness to our land and our right
to determine our future. In the end God nourishes us, gives us hope, and
restores our freedom. The journey we travel however is not a straight one. In
fact when Moses first goes to Pharaoh seeking our freedom, Pharaoh not only
rejects Moses but also increases the burden on our people. The people’s
response to this is to blame Moses and mock him. Indeed, over and over
throughout our journey to freedom, the people continually accuse Moses of
trying to kill them and wish they could return to Egypt.
Likewise, the Wicked Child
is hungry, estranged and adrift. Had he not been invited to the seder, he would
not have been able to engage in the conversation, and would not have maybe even
recognized what he was missing. Surrounded by family, by community, by food
that not only nourishes the body but also speaks to the values of love, hope,
and freedom, the Wicked Child may by the end of the seder have been moved. The
opportunity exists only because the Wicked Child has been welcomed and invited.
Remember, the Wicked Child shows up when invited every year! The
tradition believes that even though the Wicked Child does not feel a part of
Jewish life and tradition now, the door is always open and more specifically a
place around the table has been set and is waiting for him. May our tables but
more importantly, our hearts, be big enough, welcoming enough, and hopeful
enough to invite all who are hungry to come and join us at the seder table.
Chag Kasher v’ Sameach!
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