Remembering the Shoah One Name At A Time

Everyday new studies are being initiated and conducted to determine the effects of the use of technology on our memories. Think about it, at one point in the not too distant past, people had to memorize historical dates, the Preamble of the Constitution, how to spell words correctly, and yes, other people’s phone numbers (as well as their own). Today such information is literally only a click or voice command away. Even the passwords we use to “protect” our information can be stored and saved in case we forget them.  I am not suggesting that we can or should turn back the clock or that we as a society would even want to. We are indeed privileged to live at this exciting time, and have a world of information accessible earlier generations would be envious of.

Yet, there is still an important place for first hand use of human memory. Making memories entails taking the information around us and internalizing it in a way that not only creates neuro-pathways in our brain but literally becomes part of who we are. This is more than doing a Google search or posting on Facebook. In fact research₁ shows that posts, tweets, and texts engage only short term memory, they are quick, in the moment, snapshots that don’t last long because they are followed by more posts, tweets, and texts. Arguably, this is indeed the purpose of this type of media communication but, as far as the faculty of memory is concerned this does not translate to creating long-term memories that change, enhance, and enrich us.

As Jews living after the horror of the Shoah (The Holocaust) we have often been taught, “Never Forget!” But, how do we do that? Especially in our world today?! Unlike so many of the other holidays and commemorations in the Jewish life-cycle and calendar, Yom HaShoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day) does not have a universally accepted ritual, sacred text, or even communal service of some type (let alone special foods or lack thereof). I believe that it is through these rituals that we as Jews, have been not only able to maintain our traditions but as important been able to create memories that literally transform and touch our souls. They bring meaning to our lives by connecting us through the generations, informing our relationships, our values, and our moral perspective.  Which brings us back to the challenge of Yom HaShoah. With very few survivors left, how can we ensure that their stories and those of the millions of Jews who perished will not be forgotten?

One way my synagogue has found to create powerful memories is by holding a Yom HaShoah vigil in which we read the names of those who perished in the Shoah. People sign-up to read names and to come and listen throughout the day beginning after morning services and continuing for twelve hours stopping only for mincha/ma’ariv where we recite the Mourner’s Kaddish in remembrance. From families that come to read together, to our teens and older members - we read their names - we hear their names, and in doing so I feel we not only keep their memory alive but make our own powerful memories. The sacred duty to never forget becomes not only a surreal number to remember but, real mothers, fathers, and children. The Nazis counted numbers but we remember names.

We have always believed that names carry memory. As Jews we remember loved ones by naming our children after them. We still use the ancient names from our Torah - Adam, Seth, Jacob, Rachel, Sarah…It is no coincidence then that our people’s Hebrew name - Yisrael, links God’s name with ours. By remembering the names of our brothers and sisters who perished in the Shoah we link their names and lives with our own. And in that way may all of their names be for a blessing - one we never need a password to remember.

1 How Technology Is Warping Your Memory The Huffington Post  |  By Carolyn Gregoire

Save Me A Seat At The Seder Table: Why The Wicked Child Is Invited

Of all the major Jewish holidays, Pesach is focused in our homes, and more specifically around our tables. From the initial cleaning of our homes, the search for hametz, and the making of the matzah balls, the spiritual center of Pesach is sitting around the seder table and telling the story of how God saved our people, taking us from slavery to freedom. In telling the story of our exodus, our rabbis in the haggadah, use the metaphor of four children, each with different levels of understanding and each asking different questions. They wanted each of us to literally look around the seder table and tell the story so that each person there would be moved, challenged, and inspired by the story.

Yet, of all the four children represented in the story - the Wise, the Wicked, the Simple and the One Who Doesn’t Know How to Ask, why each year would the host of the seder invite the Wicked Child? As a reminder, the wicked child asks, “What mean you by this service?! By the word “you,” it is clear he does not include himself in the community.” Whoa! Talk about attitude! The question of the Wicked Child can be understood not only as his eyes rolling to the back of his head but also a total disconnect from the family, our people and the tradition. 

It is completely understandable that the first year when the wicked child initially asks their question the parent responds. In that case, the seder leader’s response seems relevant if not a necessary stern rebuke of the wicked child even going as far as to say, “had he been there (in Egypt), he would not have been redeemed!” But what is not obvious is why year after year the Wicked Child is invited back! Is it just because he had to move back in with his parents? Maybe he loves his mother’s chicken soup, or maybe it’s just some type of masochistic fetish? After all why would you want someone at the seder table who does not feel a part of the holiday or even the people, and actively taunts others about it?!

Maybe the answer lies with the very story of Pesach itself. Our people start out hungry, enslaved, and abused. We are strangers in Egypt physically but we are also estranged from our innate sense of dignity, self-worth and connectedness to our land and our right to determine our future. In the end God nourishes us, gives us hope, and restores our freedom. The journey we travel however is not a straight one. In fact when Moses first goes to Pharaoh seeking our freedom, Pharaoh not only rejects Moses but also increases the burden on our people. The people’s response to this is to blame Moses and mock him. Indeed, over and over throughout our journey to freedom, the people continually accuse Moses of trying to kill them and wish they could return to Egypt.

Likewise, the Wicked Child is hungry, estranged and adrift. Had he not been invited to the seder, he would not have been able to engage in the conversation, and would not have maybe even recognized what he was missing. Surrounded by family, by community, by food that not only nourishes the body but also speaks to the values of love, hope, and freedom, the Wicked Child may by the end of the seder have been moved. The opportunity exists only because the Wicked Child has been welcomed and invited. Remember, the Wicked Child shows up when invited every year! The tradition believes that even though the Wicked Child does not feel a part of Jewish life and tradition now, the door is always open and more specifically a place around the table has been set and is waiting for him. May our tables but more importantly, our hearts, be big enough, welcoming enough, and hopeful enough to invite all who are hungry to come and join us at the seder table.

Chag Kasher v’ Sameach!

Purim, the B.D.S. Movement & The Dangers of Ignoring History

     While the Boycott, Divestment & Sanctions (B.D.S.) movement against Israel has existed for years, recently it has become much more serious with the Presbyterian Church, European Union, and worldwide academic institutions, even right here in the U.S., jumping on the B.D.S. bandwagon. Even the Super Bowl garnered B.D.S. pressure. The Israeli company SodaStream’s spokeswoman Scarlett Johansen was dropped by the Oxfam aid organization for her participation in the SodaStream commercial. While it might seem trivial to some people who tout Israel’s strong economy and military prowess, it is indeed very serious and should not be taken lightly. At the core of the B.D.S. movement is an attack on Israel’s legitimacy as a full-fledged nation among other nations, casting Israel as a pariah state, and ultimately providing cover for deep-seated anti-Semitism.

     While proponents of the B.D.S. movement claim their goal is to pressure Israel to make peace with the Palestinians and to call attention to the hardships that Palestinians face, what is obvious in its rhetoric is that they feel Israelis are evil oppressors whose treatment of the Palestinians can be equated with the worst human rights violations in the world, and that Israel and Jews around the world who support her are willing accomplices and morally bankrupt. These words are not hyperbolic but truly are at the heart of the B.D.S. campaign. Any company, university, or government that does business with Israel falls into this category.

     We should not be fooled into believing that this movement is only about the “government policies” of Israel, because when Israel is cast as the “other”, every Jew bears that label as well. This is a classic strategy from the anti-Semite playbook. In the story of Purim, Haman first targeted Mordechai, and then sought to move against the whole Jewish people. His strategy was to convince King Achashverosh that the Jews were a “different” people. He claimed the Jews would not follow the king’s laws, and that they were not citizens of the Persian Empire but instead were outsiders, pariahs, even seditious traitors. It was only when Haman had persuaded King Achashverosh of this that he asked for a royal decree enabling anti-Semites throughout the kingdom to kill the Jews.

     
     Sadly the history of anti-Semitism has a way of repeating itself in every age under different guises. Like Haman, the supporters of B.D.S. seek to pigeonhole Israel as the chief violator of the basic laws of the world. Forget that many other nations do not even afford freedom of speech, access to courts, academic freedom, and even the most basic human rights, Israel is the only target of B.D.S. It would be interesting to question those passionate about B.D.S. about why they aren’t outraged by child soldiers in Africa, human rights in China, or the basic civil and political rights of women in most of the Arab world to name just a few. Therefore, it is crystal clear that the goal of B.D.S. is not to pressure Israel towards peace with the Palestinians but instead to make it okay to desensitize, ostracize, and eventually demonize Israel and the Jewish people throughout the world, both on the larger world stage, and right in the midst of our local communities.

     As we approach the holiday of Purim we are reminded by reading the Megillah not to forget how close we came to tragedy. We celebrate the heroism of Esther who found the courage to speak out against the lies of Haman, and turn the tide against those who would have murdered us. And like Esther, hiding or hoping someone else will come and save us is not the answer. Today, we must again find that courage to speak out, and not let the dark lessons of our past go unheeded.   

Caretakers of God's Masterpieces

When President Theodore Roosevelt championed the designation of National Parks, he said, ”We have fallen heirs to the most glorious heritage a people ever received, and each one must do his part if we wish to show that the nation is worthy of its good fortune.” An avid outdoorsman, Roosevelt was often more at home in the wilderness than in the political back alleys of Washington yet, what is evident in his words is that the natural beauty in our world requires each of us to do our part in taking care of it. It is hard to imagine today our countrywithout the National Parks but, before Roosevelt lobbied to create them, rampant industrialization was literally raping the land of its resources without regard to conservation or the complete destruction of the land.As Dr. Seuss would later write, “Business is business, and business must grow, regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.…” (The Lorax)

In Jewish thought and law since the Earth was created by God, the entire Earth itself is owned by God. As tenants on God’s earth we must not wantonly destroy it (baal tashchit) and are in fact positively commanded to be caretakers of it. Midrash Kohelet Rabbah 7:28 teaches, “When God created the first man He took him and showed him all the trees of the Garden of Eden and said to him 'See My works, how beautiful and praiseworthy they are. And everything that I created, I created it for you. Be careful not to spoil or destroy My world — for if you do, there will be nobody after you to repair it.” The midrash’s words of wisdom ring as true today as ever. As a world, we are inching closer to environmental catastrophe caused by our progress, growth and development. We are consuming our planet faster than our planet can rejuvenate and replenish itself. With melting ice caps, an island of garbage in the Pacific, and the continuing rise of animal extinctions we are destroying God’s masterpieces at an ever increasing rate.

But we can still change this course. The state of Israel is a great example of where there is a will there is a way. Combining ingenuity and resolve Israel is the only country that has more trees today than at the beginning of the twentieth century. Through the efforts of the Jewish National Fund(JNF), and its tree planting initiative millions of trees have been planted. Today the JNF is working to create sustainable water solutions for the Negev and manage water more efficiently around the country. Each time I visit Israel, I am continually amazed at how technology is being used and developed to conserve and preserve the land. Israel exports this technology around the world and has been instrumental in teaching green ways to farm in Africa and Asia.Yet, we are slower here in America to adopt eco-friendly policies and practices that other countries around the world have already adopted. We mistakenly believe that our freedom and rights come before anything else. We are sadly resistant to adopting new restrictions that will change or impinge on our “American” way of life.

On Tu B’Shevat, the Jewish new year of trees, we have the opportunity once again to raise environmental awareness in our communities. We should resolve to redouble our efforts to living more in tune with our environment. From coffee cups to paper towels we live in one of the worlds most disposable societies. We can start to change this in small ways by bringing our own coffee cups to work & synagogue, using reusable bags when grocery shopping, taking shorter showers, carpooling, and redoubling our efforts to recycle. Each behavior we change does make a difference. As rugged an individualist as President Roosevelt was, it was clear that he understood the need to balance between using our nations resources and preserving God’s masterpieces. As he wrote,“Of all the questions which can come before this nation, short of the actual preservation of its existence in a great war, there is none which compares in importance with the great central task of leaving this land even a better land for our descendants than it is for us.” To this we should all say, Amen!

Alive in the Marketplace of Life - Judaism Wants YOU!

Leaders of the American Jewish community have been pouring over the latest demographic and cultural data from a survey done by the Pew Research Institute. Rightly so, there is much to be alarmed at from the findings. And yet, I believe the time is ripe for a new Jewish renaissance. For far too long, Judaism has kept a low profile in the marketplace of religion in America. We have a tradition of not actively proselytizing and even turning potential seekers away. Whether this was due to the historical effects of anti-Semitism, or a circling of the wagons, we have often only focused our attention in the Jewish community on those that were by birth traditionally considered Jewish. In the modern world we live in though, this alone is not enough. After all America is about competition in the marketplace of ideas. It is about the best rising to the top and succeeding. The fastest growing religious group in America is “None of the Above.” Interestingly however, the Pew study found that 94% of those polled said they were, “proud to be Jewish.”

Like the 94% I am proud to be called a Jew. I am proud of what Jewish wisdom and ethics has to say about our world and our lives. I am proud of the multiplicity of opinions, and ideas that our Jewish tradition uniquely applauds and cherishes. I am proud to be part of the creative enterprise which is the growth and prosperity of the State of Israel. I am proud to teach and learn, sing and dance, celebrate and comfort, remember and create anew with my fellow Jews. I am even proud to make choices that run counter-cultural to what everybody else is doing (some of the time). I am proud to believe that there is something greater than myself, and that I am indebted to, grateful for, commanded by, and in partnership with God. Yet, are we as a community too proud to encourage and actively seek out and welcome spiritual searchers who have no particular faith affiliation? We should be saying, “Come one, come all! Learn what Judaism and Jewish living has to offer!”

Ask any rabbi who has guided new Jews-by-Choice into the Jewish people how they feel when these Jews become vibrant and active in our community. It is a deeply sacred experience to see people so moved by Jewish life and practice taking the plunge into the mikveh, making their declaration of faith, and choosing their new Hebrew names. The power of the moment reminds us that our tradition is indeed compelling, meaningful, and holy. People choose and want to be a part of it. Our tradition celebrates Jews-by-Choice by giving them, as part of their Hebrew name, the spiritual parents of Abraham and Sarah, and reminds us that it is from Ruth the Moabite that King David descends.

I believe the future vibrancy of the Jewish community rests in part on reaching out to all spiritual seekers, both those traditionally defined as Jewish, and to the countless people who are just searching for something meaningful. I believe there are many people just waiting to be invited into our tradition, to be welcomed into our tent. We must not turn people away, but instead invite them to join in the experience, the wealth, and the benefits of Jewish life. In America as in the modern world at large, we cannot be a closed community, we need to recognize that we are all Jews-by-Choice on our journey of faith and life. So a big welcome to all! Judaism wants YOU!

Latkes and Cranberry Sauce: Perfect Together!

If I were the Hallmark cards company, I would take advantage of a super-limited once in a 77,000 year opportunity to print Thanksgivukkah cards. Not only could they be collectors items but who knows if paper cards will even exist then! But the confluence of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah have a lot more in common than meets the eye, particularly in their origin stories. Hanukkah as a holiday commemorates the struggle for Jewish religious and political freedom. Buckling under the tyranny of both the Greeks and their hellenistic Jewish sympathizers, Jews were forbidden to practice Judaism. They were humiliated, forced to partake of pagan rituals, and killed. Finally, a group of freedom fighters, led by Mattathias and his five sons, took up arms and after a long gorilla war, won our independence. The holiday of Hanukkah was instituted by the victors to commemorate the military victory and the purification and rededication (the Hebrew word Hanukkah means to Dedicate) of the Temple. 

For the Puritans, aka the “Pilgrims”, they first came to these shores to seek refuge and escape the religious persecution and intolerance they faced in England. Willing to risk their lives and that of their families, they set sail to a relatively unknown land with few of the basic skills they would need to survive here. Yet, their hope was to found a “new Jerusalem”, and create a community and society based on their own religious convictions. One of their religious beliefs was a literal reading and strict adherence to the Bible. The Puritans made a point of celebrating each of the Torah’s holidays. They strictly observed the Sabbath, Pentecost (meaning revelation of the 5 books - our holiday of Shavuot), Thanksgiving (our harvest thanksgiving holiday of Sukkot), and Easter (pascal lamb & last supper). While it is most certainly true that without the help and guidance of Native Americans the Pilgrims would have perished in their new land, it is not out of the realm of possibility that they would have also celebrated a harvest Thanksgiving holiday a la Sukkot with their Native American neighbors.

Both ironically and sadly, these same Pilgrims, would later persecute Jews seeking the same religious freedom in America. In fact when, the first Jews came to America, escaping from the long arm of the Catholic Church’s Spanish (and later Portuguese) Inquisition, they faced harsh religious intolerance and outright anti-Semitism at the hands of the Pilgrims. The Jewish community of Massachusetts Bay Colony were summarily thrown out of the territory and had to seek refuge from Roger Williams in Rhodes Island (i.e.,Touro Synagogue). 

Another aspect that both Hanukkah and Thanksgiving share is how the holidays added traditions different from their original stories and meanings. If the original Hanukkah holiday was focused on the Maccabean victory and the Temple; the holiday today, thanks to our ancient Rabbis, focuses on God’s miracle of the oil, and the lighting of the hanukkiah. In effect our tradition morphed Hanukkah from essentially a one day victory feast, to an eight day celebration focused on lighting one’s home, and a public display of Jewish identity (The Hanukkiah was traditionally placed in the window and lit so passersby could see - b’farhesiah). In modern times, Hanukkah changed yet again with presents, decorations, Jewish pride and Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song now a part of the Festival of Lights. The Thanksgiving of today also evolved over time. When President Abraham Lincoln officially instituted Thanksgiving, I am sure he could not imagine the Macy’s parade, NFL football, or sadly the mad rush of consumerism which has overtaken Thanksgiving’s original intention of giving thanks to God for home and hearth. 

With Hanukkah and Thanksgiving falling together this year, I believe we have a unique opportunity as Jewish Americans to educate ourselves and others about the true meaning of these holidays. From their origins of religious tolerance, thankfulness to God for all of the blessings we enjoy, and the co-operation and hope for our communities and society, we certainly have a lot to celebrate. So let’s enjoy our latkes with cranberry sauce, open our pantries to those in need, and bring the light of God into the world with kindness and joy! 

Happy Thanksgivukkah!

You Are Not Alone: An Answer to Sh’ma Koleinu

One of the most moving prayers during the past month of holidays is the prayer Sh’ma Koleinu – which literally means – “Hear Our Voice.” This prayer is a deep heartfelt plea to God not to abandon us, not to hide from us, but instead to hear our prayers and renew us. Traditionally the Cantor chants each verse and the congregation repeats it. I have often wondered why we would even need such a prayer? After all by this point in the service we have already been praying to God for quite some time! Yet, there is something so emotional about the poet’s words, a feeling of vulnerability and weakness, a fear of being alone even in a group, a feeling that if God can’t hear us in our pain then who will?

For some types of hurt, sharing our pain with others is part of our tradition, and often it is out in the open, and can be easily recognized. When we suffer a loss of a loved one, the mourner literally shows their grief by tearing clothing/ribbon as an outward sign of their broken heart. The community responds to the mourner by comforting the mourner, bringing food, attending minyanim, and surrounding them with love and support.

But, there is another type of hurt that is all too often hidden and not in our communal consciousness enough – the pain of Domestic Abuse.  October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month, and for too many in our community, the physical, verbal, and psychological abuse they suffer is a secret. It is hidden by makeup, an outward appearance of normalcy, and shame. It is a constant fear that no one will believe them, a fear of what will happen if they come forward, and a fear of what their abuser might do to them if they found out.

The stereotypes of “that doesn’t happen in the Jewish community”, or “nice Jewish boys/girls don’t do that”, or “this is a only a women’s issue”, or “it only happens in poor households” not only are completely wrong, but actually often act as social barriers for the victims who are contemplating how to get help. Too many instead suffer silently, afraid, intimidated and alone.

What these hidden members of our congregations and our community need is a voice, someone to speak out and then to answer their private Sh’ma Koleinu. That’s where the Rosenberg Domestic Abuse program* and KOLOT come in. The Rosenberg Domestic Abuse program is a part of Alpert Jewish Family & Children's Services. It is a safe place for anyone who is suffering from abuse to get help and support. You are not alone! We are here for you and no one has the right to diminish and abuse you, especially those who are closest to you. Whether it is your wife, husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, it is not your fault and there is never an excuse for abuse. KOLOT is the communal voice to raise awareness. It is made up of clergy, community leaders, but mostly caring men and women who want to help in a tangible way. Our community teen trainers teach their peers about healthy and unhealthy relationships and the signs of abuse. Finally, the annual “No Excuse For Abuse” Luncheon brings together hundreds dedicated to getting out the message that abuse happens in our Jewish community and we need to support the victims and caregivers. 

The pain of abuse alone is terrible, the suffering in silence only makes it worse. Let us be a sukkat shalom – a refuge of wholeness to those who are still suffering under abuse, and let us be there to hear their prayers of Sh’ma Koleinu and answer them with our own voices of courage, comfort, and love.

*Rosenberg Domestic Abuse hotline number: 561 684-1991